Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
