Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
