You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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