you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
