I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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