the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Michael Bay diarrhea
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
