Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
