yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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