was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
