I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
