So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
