i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
