I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
