I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
