I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Be still, my beating vagina.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
