My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
