Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
