There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
