I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
