i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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