i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
