I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
