Im at strip club and am horny
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
