some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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