hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
