dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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