I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
