your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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