party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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