Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize