Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
