I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
