Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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