We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
