Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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