Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
