Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
