Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
