this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
