Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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