i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
God, I missed his penis.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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