i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
