Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
