I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
