You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
