yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
