My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
