I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize