i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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