a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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