So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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