on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize