nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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