you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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