how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize