Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
