I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
