with your own penis?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
