YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
