Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dignity is for republicans.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
