I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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