I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
