I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
