Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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