Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
