I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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