We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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