dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
