is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
