She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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