so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Randomize
