do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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